A recent article from Fort Knox, Kentucky has a gentleman suing a truck stop for serving him hot coffee…which he spilled into his lap. Claiming ‘pain and suffering’ he’s hoping for a quick settlement, new seat covers, and a warning label. “Coffee is hot.”
My birthday present this year was a Craftsman Circular saw, with a laser sight. There are 11-PAGES of warnings and “don’t.” Remember the old paragraph which congratulated you on the purchase of this fine item which promises to give you years of service? My Circular saw gave me no such note. It contains stern warnings about using it in the rain, wearing safety gear, and the blades being sharp. Honestly, what moron WOULD use a Circular saw while bathing? “Honey, could you bring me some 2X4’s so I can build a quick deck while I’m in the tub?”
Warning labels have gone to extremes to protect the company from a lottery which rewards stupid behavior. My lawnmower advises me not to use it to trim hedges. A lawyer friend confirmed that, indeed, two guys were holding a running lawnmower by the wheels, and trimming hedges. They were injured, won the lawsuit, and hence, the warning.
Blow torches warn not to use while sleeping, pills for sleeping warn of drowsiness, and shirts warn you not to iron them while wearing them. Chainsaws warn about stopping the chain with your hands, printer toner warns you not to eat it, and my windshield cover warns me to remove it BEFORE driving.
There is one warning I’ll leave you with, which is advice we can all use. Maybe it should be the warning label for life. On a “Bobcat” style tractor, under the image of a little man, it simply says, “DO NOT DIE.” I’m going to do my best to follow that one…
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